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10 ways to deal with people who get on your nerves

People who get on your nerves.. they are just everywhere, right?

No matter how positive you are or how well the day starts, there’s always that one person that will bring you down or create problems out of nothing.

Sometimes, it’s annoying to put all that energy and effort into practising changing your mindset and thoughts, only to have someone ruin it all within an instant.


How can you deal with people who get on your nerves?


So how do you prevent a person from getting on your nerves or into your head?

Here are a few things that help me:


  1. Why should external things affect my peace?


Whenever someone gets on my nerves, the first thing that I think is

“Why should I let this person spoil my peace / my day?”

“Why should I give this person the power to control how I feel?”

“I have a limited time on this earth, I should be happy and doing the things I love. Why should I give away my precious time to someone?”

This thought process is not something that comes naturally. It has taken many years for me to have this as a thought that first comes up when I get irritated.

Infact, I still have the urge to give into my emotions and respond negatively.

The first and foremost thing that you need to understand is that no one can control how you feel or get into your head without your permission. If someone does something to you that is unfair or hurtful, it is upto you to choose how to respond depending on the severity of the situation.

If it is something that is not really a big deal, let it pass. Just tell yourself that you won’t let that person ruin your day and let it pass.

If it something that is unacceptable to you (bearing in mind, different people have different meanings of unacceptable), then you need to take action.

As an example, for me personally:

If someone says something negative to me such as I will fail in what I’m doing, it’s not a big deal. It’s hurtful but it’s not worth my time or peace so I let it pass.

However, if someone hurts me physically, then that is unacceptable and I will take action.

What I’m trying to emphasize is that if someone is getting on your nerves simply because of something fleeting, it’s not worth it unless it begins to affect your mental health.

You need to be the judge of this but do not fall into the trap of thinking everything is unacceptable and you must take action every time. Build up your mental strength when dealing with people and you’ll be much happier.


2. Stay calm and respond after your anger has passed


When someone gets on our nerves, we have a knee jerk reaction to respond negatively based on how we are feeling.

The best thing to do – and something you can do right away – is to do nothing.

Stay calm, count to 10, breathe, listen to calming music – do whatever you need to do to calm your emotions.

Once your emotions have passed, you’ll be in a much better state to respond or even not respond at all.

Do not put yourself in a position that takes away your peace.


3. Practice meditation & yoga daily


I hate to say this but maybe the problem is with you.

Perhaps you’ve had a lot on your plate lately, lots of deadlines, lack of sleep, high anxiety, stress, financial problems, family issues..

All these things can diminish your attention span. This means that it’s easier for people to get on your nerves.

If you make time for meditation and yoga daily, you’ll have a much calmer mental state of mind. This will help you keep your peace when others try to take it away.

Meditate daily for 10-20 minutes and within a few days, you’ll find fewer people getting on your nerves 🙂


4. Are you getting enough sleep?


Lack of sleep can greatly diminish your mental peace and make it easier for others to get on your nerves.

It’s so easy to be irritable when you have a foggy brain or can’t be bothered.

Ensure you get good sleep everyday, atleast 7-8 hours.

There’s something about waking up every day feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. You’ll also be more patient.


5. Do not react, respond


It’s so easy and even slightly satisfying to get back at a person or react negatively to someone who is getting on your nerves.

But I would urge you to respond, not react.

Think about what you are about to say or do.

You may actually aggravate the situation and make the outcome worse than it could have been, had you not reacted negatively.

When someone gets on your nerves, take a step back. Infact, take some time out.

Think about what they said and respond in a manner that’s amicable and won’t affect your peace.


6. Put yourself in that person’s shoes


When someone gets on your nerves, understand that there is something driving the way that person is behaving.

Open your mind to feeling empathy and understanding why that person is responding in that way.

Perhaps, they also have a deadline to meet. Could it be that they are on edge and hence treating you in a certain way?

Perhaps, they have been treated badly in love before or someone has behaved in a certain way.. could that be why this person is always texting you constantly when they don’t hear back from you?

Just understand that things aren’t always as simple as they seem.

There’s always a reason for why someone behaves the way they do and hence gets on your nerves. Once you understand that reason, it may be easier for you to deal with them or at the very least, get your own peace back.


7. Does that person ALWAYS get on your nerves?


Be honest. Does this person get on your nerves all the time or are you blowing it out of proportion?

Maybe you need to think about the good things about this person.

Perhaps, you feel they are getting on your nerves, but do they have a point? It might prevent you from getting into trouble or making things worse.

We have a tendency to look at the negative more than the positive.

Before jumping to conclusions, look at the good things about this person and also take into account their constructive criticism.


8. Talk to that person


The easiest and fastest way to deal with a person is to communicate.

Talk to the person getting on your nerves and put across your thoughts in a polite manner.

Listen and engage them to come to an amicable solution.

A lot of problems and bad feelings can be avoided from “mind-reading” and “assumptions”.

I know it’s easier said than done but communication is seriously underrated. Try it.


9. Learn how to deal with the person who gets on your nerves


So you’ve considered all the options above and you have decided, that yup, this person definitely gets on your nerves and nothing is going to work.

Then you need to learn how to deal with them.

If you know that they argue pointlessly, walk away. Do not respond.

If you know that meeting someone is going to ruin your day, don’t meet them. Yes, fulfil your commitment if you have already promised to meet them but take steps to remove that person from your life if it’s possible. If you can’t remove them completely, minimise the time you spend around them.

Find other ways to communicate to them, or communicate to them indirectly via another person or email where you do not have direct contact with them.


10. Do something that lifts your mood


When someone gets on your nerves, they’ve evoked a feeling inside you that makes you feel shit.

All you need to do then is to reverse that feeling.

That means doing the things you love or spending time with people that make you happy.

Listen to music, watch a movie, go shopping, eat icecream, take a walk in the park, meet your friends, play with your pet.

Do whatever makes you happy and you’ll prevent that person from spoiling your day further.


10 ways to deal with someone who gets on your nerves


I hope these 10 ways of dealing with someone who gets on your nerves will be useful to you.

Incase you have other ways to deal with such people, please feel free to comment!

I wish you a wonderful week ahead 🙂


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